


Friendship on Fire

by silasfinch



Series: Commitment [1]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/F, Family Feels, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Inner Dialogue, POV, Vanity, Vanity Fest 2018, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-12
Updated: 2018-10-12
Packaged: 2019-07-29 20:51:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16272116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silasfinch/pseuds/silasfinch
Summary: Charity proposes because of an Australian Equine VetVanessa declines due to school feesUltimate sign of domesticationOr: Charity reconsiders her position on commitment and ceremony.At first people refuse to believe that a strange new thing can be done, then they begin to hope it can be done, then they see it can be done--then it is done and all the world wonders why it was not done centuries ago.”― Frances Hodgson Burnett, The Secret Garden





	Friendship on Fire

_At first people refuse to believe that a strange new thing can be done, then they begin to hope it can be done, then they see it can be done--then it is done and all the world wonders why it was not done centuries ago.”_  
_― Frances Hodgson Burnett, The Secret Garden_

_Falling in love is very real, but I used to shake my head when people talked about soul mates, poor deluded individuals grasping at some supernatural ideal not intended for mortals but sounded pretty in a poetry book. Then, we met, and everything changed, the cynic has become the converted, the sceptic, an ardent zealot.” E.A. Bucchianeri_

Charity isn't lying.

The town may joke with varying degrees of good humour about someone finally taming Charity Dingle, but that doesn't change her perspective on a formal commitment ceremony. It just isn't in her makeup to take the vows seriously no matter how earnestly the cliches start at the time, people change and say ugly things to other usually before the honeymoon in Emmerdale. When other people see lace, laughter and lifetimes, she sees locks, letdowns and limits. It's impossible to for Charity to get starry-eyed when another engagement party happens at the Woolpack (except when looking at the alcohol takings). She can muster up a half smile and celebratory pint, but that's about it.

She isn't anyone's idea of the marrying kind least of all her own. Once you reach spectacularly lousy relationship decision number five with the whole town watching and judging, specific options are no longer available. If Charity is honest with herself, (which is a state she aims for nowadays) marriage wasn't for her once her father hit the stepmother number three mark, but it becomes a means to an end and an elaborate powerplay. The dating pool of Emmerdale is claustrophobically small and entangled there is no way she wants to risk her fragile relationships with her sons on another marriage.

Despite all her intentions (good and otherwise) a marriage in all but name is happening to her and a proper one at that, where they split daily choices and childcare duties. There was even one hellish weekend when both Johnny and Moses came down with projectile runs, and the weak stomached Noah couldn't stop vomiting. Hell, incarnate, but she wouldn't change the sheet washing at 2 am and decontamination for anything. Almost by accident, the barkeep is on Johnny's emergency contact list, and she has become Tracey's confidante in all things, including her feelings for Ross which is weird. The town isn't necessarily wrong when they claim she is a tamed woman.

Maybe because she is so much happier and at peace with her trauma caused by Bails but Charity views Aaron and Robbert's wedding differently. Her younger cousin went through so much to reconnect with his now-husband that his happiness is infectious. Chas is so happy to play a role in the big day after reconnecting with her son on a profound level. All the Dingles manage to behave themselves and avoid a repeat of a booze up or bust up. A gaggle of infants, children and grandchildren weave in and out of the tables, trying to steal the sweets.

Vanessa is the highlight of the day at least in Charity's mind. Her order-loving girlfriend tries her hardest not to focus on the elements of the day that aren't perfect, Moses's outfit doesn't fit quite right, and Johnny is fussy during the vows. Predictably Vanessa drags her partner on to the dance floor at the first opportunity. The vet has more enthusiasm than discernible talent, the differences in there and coordination levels mean that her toes are in constant danger. The giggling and laughter make everything worthwhile, especially when Vanessa whispers suggestions for their private celebration after the reception.

Her perspective on the wedding business is changing, and it's only the champagne talking.

"Maybe you need a wife before you can become a good one" Chas whispers as she moves in for a refill.

Its a mark of a how far she's come that she lacks a witty comeback and her first thought is Vanessa in a long white dress walking towards her. There would be definite advantages to dragging Ness away for a honeymoon at a topographical location.

Most importantly, Vanessa Woodfield most assuredly is the marrying kind. The vet is the definition of commitment and steadfast loyalty. Her number one goal in life is to nurture and heal with her world revolving around Johnny and her small family unit. Despite discovering sexuality later in life, Ness isn't cut out for sowing 'wild oats' even when she went to the club she came back with a devoted girlfriend rather than a list of potential hookups.

Charity cannot claim to be anything close to an expert on such things, but maybe this relationship has all the elements of one that will last.

 

**1\. Friendship and Fearlessness**

Charity is usually hopeless when it comes to maintaining friendships.

She has too much history in this town to avoid the rivalries and competitions. Megan isn't the first who wanted to knock her teeth out, just the first who is game enough to do so into a bin and then drive her to the dentist. For whatever reason, the town vet is determined to be her friend and is willing to trade snarky remarks to achieve the feet. Case and point only a true friend would help you painstakingly hand label crates of craft beer so they comply with regulations. It's almost worth the obsessive measuring of the bottles and cutting of the labels by hand.

"You don't need to do this to the wee hours, Ness. It's my screw up, and I'm sure Chas means for me to serve the punishment alone. You have an early shift in the morning go up and get some sleep." Charity encourages as she cracks her hand out.

"I don't mind. It reminds me of hand labelling jars at the farmer's market; my first job at uni for the butcher whose's wife did the best homemade jam."

"Did you have a measuring tape back then too?"

"Of course I did, but Mrs Roberts didn't take my requests for perfection seriously for some reason."

"Story of your life but come on. I know that left knee gives you trouble in winter."

"Stop fussing and pass me the vivid, Dingle. My plans without you involved reruns of BBC Asia and Budget Reports. You are the source of fun in my life besides I have fond memories of this cellar."

Charity smiles at the compliment, it is nice to know that she isn't the only one benefiting from their relationship even though it still feels like that at times. She reaches over and pulls on Vanessa's trademark yellow jacket. Its a wonder she hasn't shot the lining by now the number of times she'd made this move. The kiss is long and slow, but Ness pulls back before things get too heated.

"If we finish five crates we can make out, deal?"

"Deal"

 

**2\. Humour and Happiness**

Vanessa makes Noah laugh and brings a lightness missing to their home.

Her middle son's affection is hard won and Charity doesn't blame him in the slightest. He didn't have the best start in life nor any role model. Things are getting better now, but Noah is still guarded and slow to trust. For a good reason, he expects Ness to leave the second things start to get tough or ignore the inconvenient children in favour of courting their mother.

He certainly doesn't expect Vanessa to act out a crazy pantomime to teach him the principles of introductory physics or draw analogies to his favourite horror show. Charity's eyes well up as she listening to her son howl with laughter as Ryan and Vanessa play at roles. Ryan seems to enjoy his part as an unstable atom a little too much.

"Please tell you two lunatics will be around for Year 11 and 12. This display will at least make the periodic table interesting.

Charity holds her breath the words are casual, but they are Noah Speak for please don't abandon me like everyone else. The set of his slender shoulders is heartbreakingly familiar. It's the same posture that she adopted when her father yelled or her yet another social worker tried to say they understood.

Vanessa and Ryan exchange a look.

"Totally. Stocksfield Productions at your service, bro" Ryan offers jokingly.

Vanessa offers her beaming smile as she comes into the room.

"Just in time. We need somebody to act out the part of a neutron."

Charity feels more than a little ridiculous, but she follows along willingly, anything to ease the tension for Noah. Dancing around the living room with her love and her sons is a priceless memory that she never could imagine even a year ago.

She wants hundreds more just like this.

  
**3\. Respect and Regard**

"Vanessa has got you on a tight leash, hasn't she?"

Its a common quip from Pete or any number of her regular patrons when they see her eating a rice salad or doing yoga stretches. It boggles everyone's mind when she politely rebuffs the flirtation of a handsome horse breeder or is oblivious to the attention anyone but the vet. People who have known her the longest are amazed by the changes in the former and proud wild child. Naturally even credits the positive influence of Vanessa's sunny personality. Of course, they are mainly right, but it goes deeper than that.

Vanessa doesn't ask her to change even when she has every right to loathe some of Charity's behaviour and actions. Instead, all Nes wants is for her to try and commit to their relationship and the boys, forgiving many missteps. The smallest things make her beam with pride; an occasional rice salad is a low price to pay.

Since the disastrous meeting with her father, she tries to appreciate Vanessa's cooking and efforts around the house. Yes, the bedsheets won't crumble to ash if they aren't at precise angles, but it makes Vanessa feel satisfied.

The youngest boys don't strictly need to be taught manners nobody expects them too at this stage but motherhood is fundamental to Ness, so Charity tries to back her up where possible even if she feels like a huge hypocrite most of the time.

Privately she agrees with Tracy that it is not the end of the world when the flower shop owner gets drunk on the weekends and drag Ross along too. Vanessa worries that is not coping with the seperation so Charity tries to mediate between the sisters who have such different personalities. Tracy does need to deal with her emotions at some point.

Her employment history is never something to be proud of but being around Vanessa is making Charity value her word more, and she doesn't miss as many shifts or give into Noah as often when he wants to wag for the day.

 

 

  
**4\. Honesty and Hard Communication**

"Do you know any good therapists?"

The question is said so softly that Vanessa doesn't turn around from where she is carefully filling an icepack. Now that she thinks of it Charity's arm is throbbing from where she banged it against the bedside table. The night terror was intense, and she knows Ness will need to change the sheets before they go back to sleep, not that rest will be in her future for a while.

"Ness, do you know any good therapists?"

Vanessa turns around a surprised look on her face as she brings over the pack, dealing with her trauma has almost become second nature to them as a couple.

"We can get some names tomorrow. I'm so proud of you for even asking."

"I'm sick of panicking at my shadow, and you have to do three sets of sheets a week beside I soak through them more often than not. You are my girlfriend, not my caretaker.

"Then we will find you the best counseller there is, and I will be with you every step of the way."

 

**5\. Expectations and Challenges**

"Don't you dare, don't even think about it."

Charity has done many things to prove herself worthy of Dr Vanessa Elisabeth Woodfield, from making peace with her ex-husband to reuniting with another son. Resisting the urge to laugh as Frank and Megan belt out a (horrendously off key) version of a 60s show tue might be the toughest challenge of all, especially when the couple in question is wearing coordinated outfits.

"I know you think your reason for being is to rile people up but leave it alone. Dad is over the moon but to have Eliza and Megan but in his life. Kicking the hornet's nest is your national sport but leave this one alone. please?"

Vanessa looks so forlorn that Charity bites her tongue. She can deny this woman nothing when she looks like that. It would be like ripping the head off Moses's favourite toy or something. Nothing has more power over her than Ness's disappointment.

Besides being mean and playing the role of villain isn't as fun anymore not when Ness is so gentle with her. The idea of causing pain even accidentally starts to bother her. Maybe she is growing an angel on her shoulder in the form of a vet pixie with giant blue eyes.

"Ok but all bets are off if they start in with the pet names."

"Fair enough."

 

6\. Perspective and Persistence

"You almost got it."

Charity always knew that Vanessa is prone to rose-tinted glasses when the  
Dingle family is concerned but calling the grey hump of wool in her lap an achievement is going too far even for the sunny optimistic. They are a month into almost nightly lessons, and Charity still can't stitch a straight line.

"In what universe do I approach having it, Ness?'

"Nobody picks up a hobby, especially at our age but you are getting the technique down, and I wasn't expecting you to have a scarf ready for next Christmas or anything. Its just fun to spend time together without kids around."

"There are many solo activities that I am much more proficient at that don't make us seem like old grandmas at the rest home." Charity offers cursing as messes up yet another row.

"You don't know what I have planned as a reward if you finish this section without too much complaining. Most definitely not grandmotherly in the slightest."

Only Vanessa could sound seductive while knitting in an oversized jumper and fluffy socks complete with tangled hair and the faint smell of hay on her skin. Charity redoubles her efforts at concentration and forcing her fingers into the unfamiliar posture. Surprisingly she does eventually find a rhythm. Maybe she will aim for a hat for Moses or Johnny this winter as a starting point.

 

  
**7\. Passion and Pleasure**

"Till you, I never knew what desire was, not really."

Naturally, the ever-patient Vanessa doesn't laugh or scoff she merely continues to trace patterns up and down Charity's exposed back. They are on holiday alone in Southern Italy as a belated apology for the last bungled Valentines. The scenery and hotel are lovely not that they have appreciated much outside the costly bed.

"Of course I fooled myself and other people for a long time. Charity the maneater and homeworker, the titles came from nowhere but mainly being desired and chased helped me feel powerful and make up for the years of having no power, how Freudian is that?"

"Understandable"

"You are the first person to make me feel as if I can just let go. Everybody thinks I am teaching you the ways of sapphic love when you are redefining everything I know about human connections."

Vanessa doesn't reply right away and instead focuses on kisses each of Charity's vertebrae, intent on eliciting a reaction even though they are both tired.

"Does it need to be either or can't we teach each other the fundamentals of desire?" Vanessa whispers against her ear.

"I guess we can make our own rules, right?"

"We've done that so far, even when you were so busy convincing yourself, you didn't love me." Ness agrees

"Good thing you are so bossy and stubborn then."

"Hush, less talking more kissing."

  
**8\. Support and Protection**

Charity has insomnia.

If you ask any number of psychiatrists and ex-boyfriends or husbands, this is the least of her, but it is the one that is the most impactful. Of course, its what also makes her a decent barmaid and mother of four, she can take the night shift with Sarah or sooth Moses's bad dreams. This condition isn't worth seeking treatment for as nobody is around enough to care until Vanessa.

The tiny vet cares about the problem a great deal.

Charity comes home to find baths drawn the air thick with oils and bubbles because this is a natural remedy to sleeplessness. The size of the tub would make sharing a safety haze rather than sexy, but Ness sits beside the bath and chats about her day. This simple ritual becomes a favourite part of the day, and it does make getting to sleep much more comfortable.

Vanessa rings up the British Space Agency to steal some of their technology or at least that's what it seems like to Charity as she sinks into her new pillows. Her girlfriend is rambling on about memory foam and neck alignment. It sounds like a con job, and Ness paid way too much, but the fact that she cares so much is adorable.

The most important thing that helps her sleep is Vanessa's presence in the room or house with her. In practical terms she is a terrible bedmate, she snores, drools and clings like a barnacle. Even in sleep, she holds Charity close, and her proximity is comforting rather than smothering. When the nightmares do come, Ness talks her down from anxiety attacks and stays with her until she falls back to sleep.

Charity could sleep on rocks with that kind of security.

  
9\. Attraction and Admiration

Charity is so proud of Vanessa and incredibly attracted to her right now.

The last fact is undeniable Vanessa looks stunning tonight in a long blue dress and minimal makeup, the necklace Charity gave her seems excellent rest against her throat. However, the first thing feeling is a for a foreign one. She isn' accustomed to admiring some else for the talent and ability for purely altruistic reasons. She does so much, Charity respects how Vanessa has come professionally in such a short space of time within the shadow of suspension.

Charity is in charge of looking after Johnny while his mother gives a keynote address at the Royal Colledge of Veterinary Medicine. Dr Woodfeild is everything they could hope for, informative, insightful and funny. Johnny certainly thinks so and keeps wanting to climb on stage with his mummy. It is only an old episode of Paw Petrol on mute that prevents him from making a run for it.

"This is in brief how I made the best on my year of suspension and put steps in place to ensure something like this never happens again."

Charity and Johnny are cheering the loudest when the speech concludes, and Vanessa steps down from the stage. They hang back as friends and colleagues rushed to commend her on a fantastic and brave job.

"Johnny and I are still Captain and Vice Captain of your Fanclub, just so you know," Charity says as they meet in the middle of the conference space.

"Come on there are a couple of people I want you to meet."

This tendency is another new aspect of a relationship. Vanessa is so proud of her and wants to drag her to meet people always cheerfully including her partner or girlfriend in any introduction. Surprisingly she gets on well with the vets and animal scientists some of whom even enjoy crosswords and wine. She doesn't feel out of place amongst her peers and secretly enjoys being in Nessa's shadow for the night.

 

 

  
**10\. Dotting and Disclosures**

Vanessa buys her a new pair of shoes for no reason at all.

These aren't any pairs of shoes nor are they the ridiculously expensive pairs Charity used to wear when trying to impress a rich guy or during her clashes with Moria. Charity Dingle has worn many shoes in her time suiters have wanted to buy favour with her by adding to her collection. No, these runners are dull looking, but they are amazingly comfortable to wear. Ness spent ages researching the most suitable footwear for people that do shifts on their feet to wear. This particular is the pair that was rated top by medical students and waitresses alike.

"These are a dream to walk in but whats the occasion?" Charity asks instantly worrying that she has forgotten an important date of some kind that Ness's brilliant mind remembers.

"No reason but you are taking over more shift from Chas so she and Paddy can start to feel better, figured you'd be on your feet for a while. I'm glad you like them"

  
"Your efforts to keep me healthy are going to involve eating allot more spinach and rice, aren't they?" Charity mock complains as she plants a kiss on the shorter woman's check.

"Probably. We can't eat light we are in our twenties anymore, Charity not with so many little ones counting on us. I want to be the only one raising your blood pressure."

"You wouldn't have hated younger me right nightmare I was. Ageing is good for me I think."

"Sometimes I dream about taking care of you then too, convincing a young Charity Dingle that the world isn't all bad and that there are people who care."

"I wouldn't have listened, babe - even if with your pigtails and giant blue eyes."

"Its funny how you think you'd have a say in the matter."

 

 

  
Charity is Wrong

In the end, it comes down to practicality as many things do for people in their 40s or so Charity Dingle is learning as she tries this being adult business a few decades too late. Rather than a grand moment of insight with metaphorical fireworks or emotional displays, the certainty comes on a quiet evening just like any other. Charity is trying to complete a particularly tricky crossword that Ryan brought on a trip to London and Vanessa is reading an issue of Veterinary Medicine. One of the boys is fussing about monster and Ness being the ever rational Monster Slayer goes to sort the problem, smiling at Charity's weak protests and leaving her magazine open on the couch.

The title makes Charity sit up straight and grab the journal to get a better look; Treatment of Serious Injuries In The Feild (literally and figuratively)

Intellectually Charity knows that Vanessa job could be dangerous, cows and horses were big and flighty. She may avoid farms if it all possible but it's not the same as being oblivious to the reality of working livestock. However, The Emmerdale Veterinary Surgery is mainly for devoted Cat Ladies, boisterous puppies and occasional Chinchilla. The words on the page make Charity feel sick, cold and weak all at the same time. Open wounds, head injuries, hand fractures and persistent infections, some masochistic sod includes colour pictures just for added effect on her nerves. Ness's pasta and Paddy's cheesecake is an excellent combination but all Charity can taste is bile.

"Considering a career change? you'd look right fetching in scrubs."

Vanessa expects Charity to make a quip about blood and stool medication, but she remains silent staring at the pages, crossword and tea forgotten. Her mild curiosity turns to alarm when she sees how pale the taller woman is and white hue to her knuckles.

"Charity, what's wrong? are you having a flashback?

These vivid memories don't happen nearly as often now, but something can trigger this fugue-like state at the oddest times. Vanessa learns to gauge her response and proximity based on how alert Charity is, anything to avoid a repeat of the wrist incident.

"Why didn't you bloody tell me that cows could bloody kill you when you go out there to fluff their tails and make sure the bulls are studly!"

Charity's bellow is jarring in the otherwise quiet house and Vanessa fears all her hard work with Mosses and Johnny is for nought, but her girlfriend's state starts to make more sense and is easier to deal with than past trauma. Nessa sinks to her knees and gently prying Charity's fingers apart inwardly wincing at the tearing of paper. Rhonda is not going to be happy with the mangling of the clinic's only copy.

"Charity look at me. The odds of a severe injury in practice such as ours are minuscule, especially with how experienced most of the farmers are and the latest Cattle Management Regulations..."

"A traumatic amputation sounds pretty serious, Ness even to a barmaid."

Vanessa tangles fingers together and strokes the white knuckles trying to ease the struggle hold.

"A couple of things to remember. 1) The article you were reading is from Australia where vets can travel through miles of dessert to get to help. In contrast, I am 10 minutes at most from a doctor's surgery 2) all vets train and prepare to deal with injuries, I get all the shots every year 3) Emmerdale doesn't have many risk factors for starters our dairy cows are fairly tame. 4) I love my job with proper precautions nothing will go wrong"

Charity remains unconvinced but willing to listen without teasing her about her tendency towards checklists. Its a sign of progress that she is sitting here rather than drowning unwanted emotions at the bar.

"Why can't you only work with the Golden Retriever Puppies and the Persian Cats, Paddy's size is good for something, right" Not even you can control every stubborn cow or cheeky mare, except me and I still claim you cast a spell."

Vanessa chuckles as she moves to sit beside Charity and pull her into a hug.

" Even if such a prospect wouldn't bore me to tears and leave me broke, it wouldn't be feasible, we all need to be pitch in around here, you know that"

"I'm the selfish Publican Dragon, didn't you know?"

'Hush" Vanessa mummeries dismissively.

Vanessa Woodfield is proud of many aspects of their developing relationship and the hard-won family unit. One of the things that make her happiest is how she can ease Charity's fears and push back the bleakest thoughts and self-beliefs. She wasn't joking when she told a disbelieving Tracy that she wants to a personal superhero for the Dingle matriarch. Incrementally her girlfriend sinks into their embrace, clammy skin cooling and breathing evening out.

"We should get married."

Vanessa half laughed half choked on her now cold cup of tea. The look she gives her lover is at once bemused and shocked, not an uncommon occurrence since that first night in the cellar.

"What on earth are you talking about, did somebody spike Wingles Home Brew again?

"Oi I'm serious - it means I can stay with you if you get trampled by a herd or bit by a cat, there won't be any arguing with the nurses like you see on TV. I love Tracey and Frank, yeah but they'll be useless in a crisis, the girl faints if Johnny scaps his knee. Speaking of which your son isn't an overly coordinated lad, is he? We should share the load of emergency calls from the nursery. Lord knows..."

Whatever else is about to say becomes rapidly swallowed up by Vanessa rearranging their limbs so that she is straddling her girlfriend and peppering her face with kisses.

"I couldn't love you more, Charity Dingle."

"Well, I'm glad, and all in favour of the physical demonstrations but does that mean...yes. This proposing thing is hard work... I should have more sympathy for Cain and such like." Charity muses nervously.

"No," Vanessa says succinctly.

"What?"

The vet cups her hands around Charity's face before she reacts impulsively to the perceived rejection. Green eyes are wide with shock, but she stays in place and leans into the touch.

"I am not going to marry you just because you misread an Australian Equine Vet's findings and are feeling sentimental due to your cousin's rainbow wedding. For starters, we have four boys to get through school and Noah to uni if he wants it. I'm going to be building client base back up after the suspension..."

"You turning down a proposal because it blows out your budget?"

"I'm saying no right now because we can do all those big commitment things without the title or the fancy dresses. I can get the next of kin and will paper drawn up for a tenner, and a pint. A lawyer treats his parrots like his children; According to him, I have the secret touch for Elizabeth Tayler II, the red fan parrot. Honestly, she likes to nibble on my hair is all."

"You must have a magical touch to get this Elisabeth Taylor type even to consider marrying again much less being the one to propose."

"I'm your Richard Burdon than?"

"I think he was slightly less of a hot head, but you have him beat in all other respects."

"Thanks. My answer will always be yes Charity. If you haven't scared me off in the last few months of dramatics and drunken outbursts, you are never going to, but there is no rush. Ask me again at Johnny's wedding or when we are holding your first great-grandchildren. The ceremony will keep to them"

"Planning to stick around then, are you?"

"What was your first clue, Crossword Master?"

"When you brought my line about hangover cures and insisted on teaching my thirteen-year-old the wonders of algebra."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
